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June 22, 2024Like many of you, I am a fan of the show Friends, and I was shocked at the death of Matthew Perry. Of the three main male characters on the show, I certainly did not relate to the soap opera star (Joey) or the paleontologist (Ross), but I can understand a sarcastic person like Chandler. Furthermore, like most of the public, I was aware of Perry’s lifelong struggle with addiction. So while I was on vacation several months ago, I started reading Perry’s memoir Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing. Though there are certainly parts of the book that I do not endorse, I was blown away by the honesty in which Perry spoke about addiction.
Early in the book he describes his relationship with his father and how his father was the one who taught him his unhealthy relationship with alcohol (he stated his father would come home from work, pour a vodka tonic and declare it was the best part of his day before downing four drinks). Perry does not blame his parents for his addictions, but it does direct us to the truth that our children observe everything we do and we ought to be aware of that reality. It is safe to say that Perry’s father did not think that his drink was honestly the best part of his day, but even if he did, he likely did not say such a thing so that his son would pick up the habit and eventually spend over 7 million dollars on rehab.
We are all public figures (some more than others), but when we step out of bed, the truth is people will notice how we speak and act. Are we acting like disciples of Christ? Sure, we can be sarcastic and say things that we do not mean and think its just innocent jest, but we do not know how people will interpret it (trust me, it’s been a lifelong struggle with me). Christ is very stern with his warning,
“Things that cause sin will inevitably occur, but woe to the person through whom they occur. It would be better for him if a millstone were put around his neck and he be thrown into the sea than for him to cause one of these little ones to sin. Be on your guard! If your brother sins, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him. And if he wrongs you seven times in one day and returns to you seven times saying, ‘I am sorry,’ you should forgive him. (Luke 17:1-4)”
Let us remember that we ought to conduct ourselves that if young children were around and they repeated what we said, scandal would not occur. Let us act with charity and not malice. And as I’ve been referencing the death of Matthew Perry in this article, let us pray for those who are struggling with addiction and those who love them. Through the intercession of St. Maximilian Kolbe, may those entrapped by addiction find peace.
Fr. Chris
