COMPLICATED GRIEF--Know of the Lord’s Presence When we experience grief, cry out to the Lord in our suffering about death and loss. We need healing in our mourning for our loved one. We gather strength from our loving relationship with our personal God. Jesus Christ, the Son of God, is "the foundation of all healing."The Lord sends us opportunities for healing in response to our cries lifted up through prayer. God sends us comfort through the Spirit’s consolation and love. His presence and accompanying embrace are experienced through the Lord’s divine visitations and through the support and love offered by His holy people who are put in our path that flows from Christ. When we cry out physically, we cry out in pain; when we hurt spiritually, we cry out in prayer and we lament. God responds. '“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of our comfort, who comforts us in our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God." 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 We especially need the support of family, friends, and those in our parish faith and local communities. Sometimes we experience complicated grief that can interrupt the grieving and healing processes. Healing occurs from the support of Our God and those who help bring His presence to us as we are suffering and hurting from the recent death of a loved one. However, some losses can put us at risk to complicated grief. Such risks include our past manners in how we have addressed our grief, our own mental and physical health dispositions that affect facing loss and/or the particular nature of the loss itself. For example, when we experience a loss that involve a death caused from a tragic accident, when parents or grandparents have lost a child, when families who face the terrible loss of a loved one from suicide or a homicide, are life situations that put all involved at risk to enter into a complicated grief process. Individuals suffering from complicated grief may need substantially more support and healing from grief. As with any loss of a loved one, there is no precise specific formula to apply for healing to take place. An individual may go through various stages and a multitude of difficult feelings such as anger, resentment, intense sadness, depression, guilt, loneliness, uncertainty, and doubts of faith, or strengthening feelings such as spiritual growth, relief or peace for the individual who have passed. More challenging, however, is that difficult feelings may come and go in waves and may last longer than in other bereavement situations and processes. In December, 2022, The Mayo Clinic, a top medical and research institution which focuses on patients’ and clients’ needs, suffering and healing, offered some perspectives on and indicators of complicated grief. “During the first few months after a loss, many signs and symptoms of grief are the same as those of complicated grief. However, while [typically], grief symptoms gradually start to fade over time, those of complicated grief linger or get worse. Complicated grief is like being in an ongoing, heightened state of mourning that [may prevent] you from [progressive] healing. Photo taken at the Basilica on All Souls’ Remembrance Mass (11/2/23) as candles are lit to represent our prayers to Our Lord for those that have gone before us.
Fr. John
May the Angels lead you to Paradise; may the [saints] come to welcome you and take you to the holy city, the new and eternal Jerusalem. “Order of Christian Funerals”