Bereavement: Experiencing the Loss of a loved one during this Sacred time of year

Bereavement: Experiencing the Loss of a loved one during this Sacred time of year

Know that Fr. John, Fr. Peter, Dcn. Matt, and Sr. Regina and our Parish family wish to extend our sincere prayers and deepest sympathy as you mourn the loss of your loved ones whether it is recent or in the distant past. We, your brothers and sisters in Christ, grieve with you and support you as part of your extended family with the faith in our Savior whose birth we soon celebrate as our loved ones are reborn in the Risen Lord. Know that we pray that you are soothed by your memories and consoled, comforted, strengthened by the Holy Spirit and our embrace of love and caring at this difficult time.

Please know, that as you walk the journey of grief, you are not alone. Some ideas to cope are taken from several sources and are offered below. The resources that follow these ideas are also available to you should you need some additional support. Some suggestions come from those who deeply experienced a recent loss and some are borrowed from the many who have helped others walk the path of loss and grief.

+ Know as you and others celebrate the life of your loved one, you will survive. Keep in mind that coping with a loss of a loved one is something that is shared by all eventually. We have others that can journey with us who understand.

+ Find at least one person you can talk to or meet with during the holiday season. Perhaps this person has gone through a few Thanksgivings and Christmases before and can give you some helpful ideas that have worked for him/her.

+ Things will be somewhat different this holiday season and perhaps others to come. You need not have to do the exact “traditional” activities of years past in the same way as you did when your loved one was with you on this earth. If your emotions are high and your energy level is low, be good to yourself. Rest and know that your family and friends will understand. However, try to keep to some routines and traditions as you can. Some of these traditions and routines help anchor you to the Lord and to help you feel more secure and that your loved one is near.

+ Spend these sacred days with those who will let you talk about the special person(s) in your life. You will need to have the freedom to say his/her name and recall memories, if you choose to do so. Your stories about those who have gone before you are wonderful stories of love. Repeat them often. Contact Stephen Ministry for individuals that can listen and offer support.

+ If you have the ability, you can create a space in your home with a candle and a comfortable chair where you can place a picture and spend time with your special family member or friend when you need to feel his/her presence and that of the Lord more deeply.

+ Visiting the grave site and praying or decorating it with a little tree or wreath can go a long way in remembering and sharing this time of the year of the Lord’s coming.

+ You can do something in memory of your loved one. Donate to a charity or fund in his/her memory. Go to your favorite charity and volunteer a little of your time in honor of the significant person in your life.

Join a bereavement support group with others who understand the pain and grief experienced. Learn about the natural process of bereavement and share with others or just come (no need to participate) and be present and listen to others to know that you are not alone and that you belong to a group of individuals who can be part of your journey.
Our Local support:

Our linked parish communities of the Basilica of St. Mary of the Angels and St. John the Evangelist will offer a Bereavement Support Group to be held at the Oratory of the Sacred Heart in the New Year. Details will follow in future announcements.

Grief Support will offer their next series of formal and informational and support group sessions in the Spring – look for future details about this renowned and popular support for those of us that are coping with loss of family members and friends.

For immediate help, contact your local clergy for pastoral support and/or local organizations such as:

+ Life Transition Center, Inc. — 716-836-6460
+ Dial 211 and ask for grief and coping resources
+ Catholic Charities—716-856-4494
www.ccwny.org
+ Crisis Services—24 hour hotline: 716-834-3131